


Inquisition, Meet Valo-kas

by violasarecool



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Banter, Dragon Age: Inquisition Multiplayer, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:23:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21504400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violasarecool/pseuds/violasarecool
Summary: in which various (mp) inquisition agents have the chance to get to know the valo-kas. banters in the style of the main game
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Inquisition, Meet Valo-kas

Hall: You know, I don't think I've ever seen you with a staff.  
Baqoun: Nope.  
Hall: ...Aren't you a mage?  
Baqoun: Yep!  
Hall: Don't you _need_ one?  
Baqoun: Listen, if _you_ could turn into an enormous growly bear, would _you_ piddle around with a little stick?  
Hall: Point taken.

Sidony: Is there _any_ in your number who is not a shapeshifter?  
Sata-kas: Are you kidding? Kaariss wouldn't be caught _dead_ shapeshifting.  
Sidony: Good. Then there is at least one among you with some sense.  
Sata-kas: _(laughs)_ Kaariss? The one who refused to eat bird's meat for five days because they said it was "interfering with their muse"?  
Sidony: I retract my previous statement; you are all fools.  
Sata-kas: That's the spirit!

Luka: There sure are a lot of mages around lately.  
Katoh: _(Signed)_ And?  
Luka: And... magic?  
Katoh: _(Signed)_ Is that surprising? Your Inquisition is half mages already.  
Luka: We don't have _that_ many mages, it's just the Inquisitor, Rion, Neria and Cillian, Hissera, Dorian, ZITHER!, Sidony...  
Luka: Okay, I see your point.

Rion: You're kind of short for a Qunari.  
Baqoun: You're kind of talky for a mage.  
Rion: What's that supposed to mean?  
Baqoun: It _means,_ the last mage who chattered like you had his mouth sewn shut the next time I saw him.  
Rion: What? That's awful!  
Baquoun: _(laughs)_ I'm just messing with you.  
Rion: Thank the Maker. I _told_ Tamar that was a myth—  
Baqoun: Yeah, I never lived under the Qun. Kost will tell you about it if you ask, though. Just don't mention it around Katoh.  
Rion: Wait, _what?_

Sidony: I am told you are a necromancer.  
Kost: I am primarily a healer.  
Sidony: _(Disgusted noise)_ But you _are_ a necromancer also. Why do you insist on sidestepping the question?  
Kost: It is not the most important part of who I am. Why does it matter?  
Sidony: I had thought to ask what kind of training you received. But it can be of no consequence if it matters so little to you.  
Kost: No consequence indeed, since the Qun wouldn't dare teach such things.  
Sidony: _(scoffs)_ You had no teacher _at all?_  
Kost: Necessity is a great teacher.

Thornton: You know, that qunari with the curly hair, she reminds me of someone.  
Kaariss: _(snorts)_ The elf? I can feel her glare from all the way over there.  
Thornton: Yeah, that's Neria for you. Is yours half as grouchy?  
Kaariss: Can yours transform into a _snarling wolf?_  
Thornton: Ah. No, thank the Maker.  
Kaariss: Then I think you'll find Katoh is by far the most—  
Kaariss: _Pigeon shit,_ hide me, hide me, she's coming this way!

ZITHER!: Are you Kaariss? Your friend, what was her name, Katoh? Says you need to collect your poetry from the barracks before she burns it all.  
Kaariss: _(Sighs)_ Yes, she'll do it, too. No appreciation for art around here.  
ZITHER!: Well I don't write poetry myself, but as a musician and _Thedas-acclaimed_ song-writer, I have a rather good eye for lyricism.  
Kaariss: You're a writer too? A song-writer, but _still,_ I didn't realize there were any other artists of _any_ kind to be found in this dreadful place.  
_(If Argent is in party):_  
Argent: There are in fact several bards in the Inquisition's employ. Though I would not ask the spymaster for a song.  
Kaariss: I don't suppose you'd care to take a look at some of my latest work? I can barely get most of this rabble to sit still long enough to listen!  
ZITHER!: Oh, of course! We should have a beer some time, compare notes. It'll be great!

Isabela: Pass me that crate, would you?  
Shokrakar: Are you sure you can handle it?  
Isabela: No, best put it on the floor.  
Shokrakar: Alright.  
Isabela: _Much_ appreciated. How about that barrel?  
Shokrakar: _(Grunts)_ Here.  
Isabela: _(Appreciative)_ Mm. Think you can lift that table?  
Shokrakar: Are you actually _using_ any of this?  
Isabela: No, but you do put on a good show. Flex for me one more time?

Ashaad: Has anyone seen the dwarf?  
Tamar: Which one?  
Ashaad: ...What do you mean?  
Tamar: What do _you_ mean? There's more than one damned dwarf.  
Ashaad: No there isn't!  
Tamar: Yes there is!  
Ashaad: No there—oh, there she is. Hey, Belinda!  
Tamar: What—that's a _human,_ you idiot!

Tamar: Do your kind come out of the Qun knowing nothing at all?  
Sata-kas: Hey, we know _some_ things. Ashaad can recognize 20 kinds of bird, Maraas-lok will drink _anyone_ under the table—  
Tamar: In other words, nothing.  
Sata-kas: Okay listen, _tiny:_ Most of them came out of the Qun with _nothing_. Clothes on their backs and a few new scars, if they were lucky.  
Sata-kas: So, no, Ashaad never learned not to poke a wasps' nest, and Taam-kasari will eat an apple core and all if you don't stop zir.  
Sata-kas: But they fought their way out of the Qun all on their own. That's pretty fucking incredible.


End file.
